Of course we all could fall in love with someone who’s very
attractive, who’s we think is cool, who’s perfect with all of their sides. But
is it possible that that someone we are talking about who’s attractive and cool
is you can only see in yourself? Well, according with my researches, yes it is
possible, these people who are very confident with their self, had a strong
sense of entitlement, very arrogant, self-esteem and lacks of empathy.
These people who only cares and believes in their selves,
they very appreciate their selves or what they said that falling in love with
oneself is what we call narcissists.
One article that I’ve red entitled “How to Spot Narcissist”
by Samuel Lopez De Victoria, a psychotherapist. From psychcentral.com.
He said that narcissism basically means that a person is totally absorbed in
self. Narcissists are the people who had an emotional trauma from their
childhood of separation or attachment from their past. And they got stuck
there. From his observation with his narcissist patients, he found that their
emotional age and maturity corresponds to the age they experienced their major
trauma. And this trauma is very harmful that could kill the people by strong
emotions. So that they don’t trust anybody else except their selves, thought
that everybody would hurt them and avoiding that from what happen from their
past could be happen again. In this article, he described the different
personalities of narcissists that he encountered. Some extreme narcissists had
an ability to fake their selves, you can see this people that they are happy,
thoughtful, caring, they will pretend to be a person that everyone wants but in
inside, they are not exactly as you are expecting. Some narcissists are
playful, they said that these people are funny and you want to be with them all
the time, they had a strong ability of distraction. And other narcissist, are
the people who will be your friend as long as you are useful for them. Some are
just being insecure. These people had a very high appreciation with their self.
From the study of Samuel Lopez De Victoria with his narcissist patients, he
said that “In my work with extreme
narcissist patients I have found that their emotional age and maturity
corresponds to the age they experienced their major trauma. This trauma was
devastating to the point it almost killed that person emotionally. The pain
never was totally gone and the bleeding was continuous. In order to survive,
this child had to construct a protective barrier that insulates him/her from
the external world of people. He generalized that all people are harmful and
cannot be trusted.”
Maybe that is why narcissists fall in love with their selves
because of these attitudes. As what we all know that we are attracted with
someone we know who’s good at everything but narcissists are the people who
only sees good things about their self. But is that hard to move on from the
past you encountered and let yourself stuck there forever? Would you not to
trust everyone anymore, and just believe only with yourself? I bet that your
life would be boring. That is why we call it past because it’s over and only us
could change that past and never let that happen again.
In the other article I’ve red about signs of narcissism
entitled, “Are You a Narcissist?” by Susan Heitler, a Denver clinical
psychologist in the site psychologytoday.com.
where she explained the senses if you are narcissist.
She said that these people who always want to
talk about their self, changes the topic, who thinks that they’re always right
than you. How about you? Are you that type of person? You might be a
narcissist. You would notice that in a small discussion, instead listening from
others idea, you only believe that all of your opinions are right. The topic
you want is always about you, from what you feel, your achievements, whatever
you want and you don’t mind what is with others. You don’t follow rules. You
don’t want to be criticized; you get easily mad at everyone who criticizes you.
And you don’t want o be blame, even it’s your fault, you will not admit it and
never apologize, you’ll find someone to blame with. All in all, it’s all about
you, and you, only you, always you. As what Susan Heitler said“Similarly, if your friend is a narcissist, the fact that you are tired would slide by him/her. Talking together now would be the only option. 'It's all about me' would prevail.”
It is creepy that I’m seeing some of my friends from these
signs in this article, they are very arrogant, had a high self-esteem,
self-centeredness. But what I also learned from these articles I red, they said
that narcissists just needs admiration. They need a help to move on from their
past that made them stuck to be like that forever. It is not bad to trust
someone again, never let yourself hang from the past, because it already
happened, it is only up to you to change and make new beginnings.
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